The Diary of

That was the theme for today.  Well, if I'm going to be truthful with myself, it's been my existence since Saturday evening.  Avoiding Michael Corner.  Avoiding the very thought of Michael Corner.  Realizing I'm not doing a very good job of avoiding the thought of him.  I heard his voice out in the hall today as I was refilling my coffee; my heart started pounding so quickly that I ended up spilling some on myself. 

Why did I wait to act on the crush I've had on him for years?   Is it the fact that he's unavailable?  Does that make him seem more attractive?  Why am I torturing myself?  This needs to end now.  We're friends. I think.  Hopefully he doesn't despise me.   There's just no point in being around him though.  Now that I've spent time with him and realized how compatible we are, how much fun we could have together--it just can't be.  He has a girlfriend, and I have to respect his commitment to her.  Her.

I'm going to pull myself together and put this behind me.  I'm an adult.  Time to act like it.